"Desiderata"
By: Max Ehrman

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

...God...

...Why do I always attract the prats?

( ...The Sexual Hell Test... )

...The first time I took it, I got Heaven Level 2.

I'm not surprised. X.x

...The world has gone to Hell.

I Google "twilight" - like, the time of day - and all I get is that STUPID film.

I've lost all faith in humanity.

...I'm so incredibly, vaguely annoyed.

And it's not even about Valentine's Day. That's fine.

I'm just so tired when certain people are so incredibly fucking rude.

...I booked my tickets.

...I have a job.

...I'm 100% NOT SURE about my thesis.

YAY!

So... I just received a letter in the mail from my college.

This is no big deal. The letter has my address on it... which is to be expected. The name on top of the address is my friend's name, who lives in Manhattan. This... is most definitely not expected. Thus, it is a letter intended for Monica, who supposedly lives at my address. She... does not. So I am very, very confused.

Do I open the letter? Do I not? Maybe I should twist and turn and peek and try to see who the letter is addressed to! ...No. That's effort.

I think I know what the letter is though - it's a letter referring to the scholarship extension we both applied for. Now, if it's an accept / reject letter... who does it go to? Is it mine? Hers? (She already told me she was rejected, because she asked our advisor.) If it is hers, WHERE IS MY LETTER?! Did it go to her? Or has it been sent to some random student in Kalamazoo...?

X.x Dilemma!

Well, not really. I called her and, when she gets back to me, we'll figure it out. Worst comes to worst I take it to school tomorrow and we open it together. x_X Such a pain.

<3<3<3 & c(__),
DG

P.S. I hate XSORBIT.

...I passed Orgo II.

So! CLOSE! AND! YET! SO! FAR!

...I can't wait until Monday evening, when I WILL FINALLY GET TO WRAP ALL MY PRESENTS. *BWAHA*! Yes, I take sick pleasure in wrapping; shut up, it's an art! OH HO HO HO HO! I CANNOT WAIT FOR VACATION!

(...Lets ignore the fact that, once again, I'm taking a January class.)

...I wish I had time to write in this. Got a few things stuck in my head that I want to get out. But I don't, so I won't, and I will continue to bottle. Not necessarily in a bad way, btw.

1. I don't want to do this paper. It's an interesting topic, but right now I'm not inspired, which is an excuse because I REALLY want to play around.

2. I'm in school until the 22nd. Monday's my last day of class. I'm so not looking forward to how long this is going to drag out.

3. I WANT MORE HOLIDAY SPIRIT. Amazon sucked the little spirit I had that school did not kill. I want to decorate. I want to put up the tree. I promised myself I could do it if I finished my work , but looking back to #1, it's not going to happen.

4. I'm... turning 21 soon. Funny how I'm not excited. I don't know if this is exactly where I wanted to be at this point in my life... but I think I'm content. Not 100% happy, but I feel comfortable in my skin.

5. I love this tea. Ginger, sugar, tea leaves, and water boiled with milk added later to cool it down. It would probably be rather healthy if it wasn't for the sugar.

6. I have to see the dentist (again) on Thursday because of some potential decay in one of my baby teeth. Yes, that's right. Baby teeth. I have two baby teeth but they won't fall out because there's nothing underneath them. It's some rare genetic thing.

7. I'm going to Japan. I'm... terrified, in a way. Excited in another. Worried in another. Not sure about anything in another. Insecure in another. Lost in another. But it's something I HAVE to do.

There's more, but I think I just got the urge to write. Plus I finished my tea so that excuse is gone. I'll update again after the 22nd! Love to you all and I hope you're having a great holiday season! <3

<3<3<3 & c(__)
DG

Hrm...

So... even though he's usually not my style... I've been listening to Kanye West's "Love Lockdown" (LMFAO remix)... and there's one line that's been bugging me / making me giggle every single time: "I should've seen it coming, wish I had telekinesis!"

...TELEKINESIS being the main word. Just... giggles.

I've just realized why I find it so funny. Is it just me, or is that the wrong word? Telekinesis being the psychic power to move things... which is not what he wants to do. What he wants is clairvoyance (maybe, as a stretch, telepathy). Unless... he seriously wants to just move things around. I don't know who added this line in (I don't think it's in the original version)... but... damn it had me going for a second. Maybe it has something to do with the music video, but either way...

Maybe I'm just a dork.

<3<3<3 & c(__),
DG

...I have recently discovered a characteristic of money that, although I should have known better, I am shocked to notice: It. Vanishes. On. You.

Like a one-night stand, it is gone by morning, with nothing to show for it except perhaps some disease you wouldn't mention in polite society. You can cling all you want, it, somehow, poofs.

(Needless to say, I recently examined my bank accounts and was shocked to find less of it than I expected. In fact, I'm rather worried and considering fast & easy ways to earn money... that don't involve being fast & easy. As a lab partner says, you can pay for an education, but you can't buy class. *insert pathetic rim shot here?*)

Anyway, I don't understand where this money has gone. You see, I'm not a big spender. Quite the opposite, actually. I have money, I hoard it, because if I spend it I have terrible guilt trips. I have about several hundred pounds (from my grandfather, of course) that I haven't touched, even though he explicitly said to buy something with it, for my birthday / Christmas / whatnot. Now, I'm wondering if it comes from the fact that, whenever my sister needs something, I buy it for her from my own wallet... including birthday gifts for her friends...

I should slice up my credit card (even though, I will defend myself, I'm good with it).

...There goes my dreams of taking my meager financial aid check and cashing it in for a Wacom. I'll really have to tighten my belt for Christmas (which I should be doing anyway, since I'm ridiculously and needlessly extravagant anyway...). u.u The sorrows of an adult life.

In other news, I was just listening to my iTunes... and there's this song I like. The beginning of it is incredibly catchy. I vaguely remember reading the title and artist, but right now I can't remember it. Hell, I can't even remember the words to the song. Damn. My memory's going.

<3<3<3 & c(__),
DG

Hi! You're rude! ^_______________^

So my father has just informed me that my cousin - the one I so frequently talk about, usually with accompanying pains - is getting engaged to his girlfriend of x years. So people don't "talk." (Frankly, it's no surprise, considering they all go on vacations together; people are JUST realizing this? Are my relatives seriously that dense?)

...The whole thought makes me sick. The cycle is repeating, and oh HEAVENS, I'll probably be forced to pick up the pieces at some later stage.

He's going to SPAWN. UGH.

...I'd write more, explaining my reasoning (it's not just biased blather, I promise you)... but I have an organic chemistry exam tomorrow and, you guessed it, I'm studying. I don't think I'll EVER STOP studying.

<3<3<3 & c(__),
DG

P.S. ZWITTERION is a GREAT WORD.

...For future reference...

Himezaki's Bachelorette Party = EMERALD CITY.

I solemnly swear that, once I start drawing frequently, learn to color well, and my guilt for the Wii purchase has worn off... I will buy that $200 Prisma Color colored pencil set (in the wooden box!)! So, until then, I must hold off on CLICKING THE BUTTON FOR INSTANT PURCHASE...

So, today I voted in my first presidential election. People are saying this is a huge one, that it's hyped up, etc. Whatever. Frankly... I'm just wondering... did my vote REALLY count? Yeah, I've been bombarded for weeks about VOTE! YES, IT COUNTS! Etc. But... if you don't live in a swing state, does it REALLY count? Maybe for the small local elections it did. And maybe even for that proposition that was up for consideration. But for the presidency? NY is Democratic, no questions asked. If I voted for anyone else... would it really matter?

Logically... no.

My Dear, Darling English Professor-

I like you. I really do. I think you're a wonderful woman, enthusiastic about your subject, and extremely knowledgeable in your chosen field. I have nothing against you personally and, although I will admit I found some of the earlier readings boring, I enjoy the work. However, I've had enough. I must say this:

PLEASE! STOP! NITPICKING!

This latest study guide (for which I thank you for, it's very kind of you to do this) is HELL ON EARTH. You have five questions (fair enough)... with each having a minimum of four extensive mini-sections (with the largest having 17 mini-sections). This is crazy for a quiz. Furthermore, your questions are not direct. They are conceptualizing bull-shitting questions where, if I can't guess what you're thinking something means, I will get the question wrong. Also, it seems to me you are forcing meaning from an otherwise very meaningful text. This may be Paradise Lost, but every time Milton uses "THE" he is not trying to extrapolate meaning from the universe.

On a random note, this is not a grammar class. I forgot the parts of speech in second grade, I signed up for this class because it is not a writing class, so please don't ask me about them. I promise you, the only thing I know is that a noun is a 'person, place, or thing.' Don't talk to me about subject-verb tenses in the past-future-4th dimension participle. I write by ear. Not by mechanical technical LAW.

I know, sometimes in class, you try hard to get us to show that there is life in us. Most of the kids ARE dullards who barely know how to read. However, when -I- am finding this annoying (and I'd like to think I'm one of the most talkative kids in class, to the point where I think others hate me)... it's too much. I know you'll allow us to ask questions before the quiz, but how do you think I (and you!) will feel when I raise my hand and say: "Everything. We need to go over EVERYTHING?"

I do hope we've cleared some things up. On another note, I'm still a fervent Satan supporter in this text, and I think Gabriel is a snotty little Nancy boy. I'm sure we'll discuss this on Monday, where that woman in the front row (center; she's always late, I'm sure you know whom I'm talking about) will continue to interrupt me on every level because she thinks that, once you pass 30, you don't have to raise your hand.

Cheers,
DG

...I'm at the library, skipping lecture, so I can do this term paper draft that's due at 8 PM tonight. I was kind of/sort of doing it yesterday... but I didn't get very far. As in... I got a paragraph in, and it's a pretty shitty paragraph. I can't help it; I can't focus.

I am REALLY starting to regret this class. I'm either getting perfect scores or less-than-average scores, which is ridiculous because my work is consistent (except, I will admit, in one case). The topic is depressing as hell. There are a few pompous jerks in my class and I want to kick their kneecaps. I am -terrified- of the final, because it's the first (and last) time we will all meet each other, since this is an online course, and I have no idea what to expect.

This. Paper. Is. Shit.

It's my first case study, and it's terrible. I can't get my act together to write about it because, frankly, I don't give a damn. I can't be bothered to do the research (let it be said that I've done some) and I really don't want to read two other case studies (you have to read two classmates' studies) and comment on them, pretending I care about their work. I don't. I don't like classmates reading MY work, especially if I don't trust their intellect, and I don't want to read theirs (unless I LIKE them and they come to me asking for editing. I don't mind that, usually.).

Might I also mention I hate this "draft" series we have to do. I really hate writing "drafts." I'm terrible at them. I write my final work for when it's due, editing all the while, ta-da, I'm done. Maybe ONE draft if the teacher wants to edit it first and help point me in the right direction. I don't see the point for fifty damned drafts with comments from my "peers."

(Might I mention that he scored me low on my first "draft" because it wasn't the whole case study. Uh, excuse me? You said about 500-1000 words... and that's what you got. And I'd just like to say that "peers" is in quotes because they're old. Seriously. Old.)

... Yes, I'm whining. It's because I don't want to do this paper, didn't you guess?...

And I don't even have a Halloween costume yet. *sigh*!

DG